Rumpelstiltskin (2025) Review

As the fairytale goes, once upon a time there was a miller (Mark Cook) who married his daughter Evalina (Hannah Baxter-Eve) off to the King (Colin Malone) with a promise that Evalina could spin straw into gold, thus providing the financial means for the kingdom to secure protection against its enemies. Of course, Evalina does not possesses that particular skill but an imp in the shadows of her prison does. Enter Rumpelstiltskin (Joss Carter), who will continue to produce the gold and allow Evalina to pass his magical talents off as her work, but the imp has a deal with a demonic overlord to settle and those services come at an increasingly hefty price…

Writer/director Andy Edwards takes the classic source material and gives it a low-budget, Brit-inflected spin, complete with resolutely non-Grimm usage of the f- and c-words, multiple comedic references to the male appendage, a smattering of nudity (admittedly of the slightly coy sort) and a final act body count which sets the tale outside of the one which unnerved so many of us as kids. Yet, the spirit of the story is still present and, although the clash of modern trappings and Olde Worlde settings initially jars, it works so much better than it arguably should.

In a world where public domain IPs are fair game for quickly made horror content with only a faint connection to its original inspiration, Rumpelstiltskin pleasingly retains all of the key points from its inspiration. The dodgy motivations of all concerned are also intact, chiefly the machinations of the titular gremlin who slides from mischief to murder in short order lest, he find himself in deep trouble with his own Big Bad. The name guessing game is here too, although there’s a spin on that which ultimately forces Evalina into Buffy-style arse kicking mode as she fights to defend what’s hers.

Although locked up for a decent proportion of the film, Evalina is no damsel in distress, using both her wits and physical attractiveness to avoid her date with decapitation (a fate that befell the previous, profanity prone Queen in the first act). That fact that she’s somewhat promiscuous isn’t dealt with as a negative, nor should it be, and in the opening act of the story she views it as one of her only means to take her towards her ultimate goals, although as the plot thickens she realises just how smart and resourceful she can be.

An interesting, historically pithy detail is Evalina’s inability to read and this, among other obstacles, fuel her growing frustration with a society that is holding her back, starting with her grubby, increasingly disinterested ruler of both house and country. If Evalina does happen to be looking for the right man, she’s only looking for the right man to help her out of her current situation.

If you’re looking for sumptuous settings and impossibly gorgeous folks decked out in stunning costumes, Rumpelstiltskin ain’t it and it’s all better for the mud and the blood and the gore. Baxter-Eve’s heroine would give your classic Disney princess an attack of the vapours and Malone’s monarch displays a colourful vocabulary which wouldn’t have survived the censors if his King’s Speech had been broadcast.

As for the hellion after which the production is named, the monster-make up effects are top notch and matched by an excellent performance from Carter, who can tug on the heart strings one moment before being genuinely menacing the next. Edwards’ screenplay is also more detailed than you might expect, giving the gremlin a backstory which takes the creature some way beyond the two-dimensional treatment of old and puts the diabolical chicanery into context.

Mixing European fairytale stylings with splashy kills and a wide streak of sweary, bawdy humour that could only be British, Rumpelstiltskin is meaty, midnight movie fare best enjoyed with a flagon or two of ale.

Movie Rating:

Rumpelstiltskin trailer