Animals (2008)

animals At Love Horror we pride ourselves on giving you impartial and honest reviews, so without wanting to lure you into this critique with false promises – like a nefarious character from a classic horror, I will say it outright. This is simply the worst film I have ever seen, and I have seen a few.

Animals was completed in 2008 and has been seeking distribution since. I only hope T&C Pictures and animals cover sleeveAnonymous Content do not pride themselves on a quality back catalogue, having brought this forgotten monstrosity to DVD.

The plot, should you manage to find it amongst the soft-core eroticism, revolves around Jarrett (Marc Blucas), a down on his luck hick, meeting a beautiful stranger called Nora (Nicki Aycox) – who is running from her previous lover, the strangely miscast and underused Naveen Andrews. A strange human/animal hybrid that needs to feast on human blood. There is no explanation given for the animals, who and why they are or why they need human blood. Trying to follow the plot is about as much use as saying ‘I’ll be right back’ when ghost face from Scream is lurking in the shadows.

Once the animals appear the film reaches a new low, as they look unfinished and less convincing than a Saturday morning cartoon villain. It really is beggars’ belief that the creative forces behind the picture thought they were scary or intimidating, or even realistic. Though it can be argued that they have more emotion and grounding in reality than the horribly staged and grossly gratuitous sex scenes.

animals review animals 2008

A huge proportion of the blame must lie at the feet of director Cassius and his cinematographer Matthew Williams, as the film is difficult to watch both as a narrative and as a coherent visual form – it is an assault on the eyes, with noticeably bad composition and camera movement. The editing isn’t great either.

animals horror

Having cost a reputed $5m Animals is a train wreck from start to finish, the dialogue is appalling, the acting forgettable and special effects of the animals themselves laughable. If erotic horror/thrillers are your thing then give this cinematic catastrophe a miss and watch Species.

Movie Rating: ½☆☆☆☆ 

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