There’s No Such Thing As Zombies (2020) Review

There’s No Such Thing As Zombies is a low budget British Horror full of satire comedy and off-the-walls bonkers moments.

Our story centers around Carlotta (Luana Riberia), a master manipulator who knows what she wants and how to get it. Once the supposedly zombie apocalypse hits the UK with anyone having taken the medication ‘insert here’ which is eventually outlawed for having raised people from the dead. So Carlotta decides it’s a good idea to invite her undead ex Paul (Rami Hilmi) over to visit. With her current husband Colin (Rudy Barrow) having no choice in the matter, secrets get exposed, carnage ensues and this is only the tip of the iceberg.

As we follow the main plot many other side plots run along their respective courses, one being about two ZIA (Zombie Investigation Association) agents Abigail Tall (Debra Lamb) and Anthony Small (Scott Hillier), both of whom are there to check out Carlotta’s bizarre situation, after reports of a zombie living within that vicinity leads them right to her door. Although it features a kickass delorean straight out of Back To The Future, this side plot falls short and has a lot of wasted potential. With the agents eventually reduced to bystanders that we only see occasionally, with very little dialog. After giving us a recruitment snippet at the beginning that was reminiscent of Starship Troopers I really wanted this to be more integral to the story and deliver some action.

Another (sort of) plot is the very meta cut between, relevant to the apocalypse, which shows sections from the TV news. There a debate unfolds between a believer in the zombie phenomenon and a zombie denier… and over the runtime of the film, the reports spiral into outright chaos.

Back to the main plot (which was the best bit), we’re treated to a dialog-driven narrative, with a hint of action in a sea of unlikeable characters – though eventually I warmed to Carlotta. Luana Riberia delivers such a strong performance and carries a lot of the comedy as she cluelessly denies her ex’s undead ways after all they have been through. Even though her character is morally challenged, having done some despicable things herself, Luana plays her with such charm.
Her husband Colin abuses her physically on screen and undermines her when possible and at times this was a hard to warcg. I was left begging for him to get some comeuppence for his actions. Whereas our main zombie, finds himself the butt of the joke as guns constantly fall into his hands.

From the beginning it’s clear to see that this film is low budget, with some of the SFX and makeup effects appearing a little lacklustre and certain backgound zombies even looking like their makeup is rubbing off.

And when it comes to close-ups it’s quite evident that we’re some way short of realism with this film. One could argue that this, used hand-in-hand with CGI effects that were near laughable, adds to There’s No Such Thing As Zombies charm and makes it quirky. But for me, it rended to take me out of the whole experience… And this wasn’t helped by some pockets of dialogue that either no sense to the story or bordered on cringe.

There was some slow-burn mystery towards the end, related to the origins of the outbreak. And with a higher budget, better developed characters and improved dialogue I could see potential for this idea to go further.

There’s No Such Thing As Zombies has a unique plot with underlying conspiracies and a strong debate at it’s heart, and I don’t think there is another zombie film out there quite like this one. For any zombie survival horror fans it’s worth a watch if you go in with the mindset of this ain’t no Hollywood production. I would also recommend sticking around for the post credit scene which was one of the highlights of the film – it gave me a real laugh.

Movie Rating:

There’s No Such Thing As Zombies trailer