Dear God No! (2011) Review

imgresOutlaw motorcycle gang The Impalers’ tri-state rape and murder spree ended in a bloody massacre, with rival club Satan’s Own. The surviving members sought refuge in a secluded cabin deep in the North Georgia mountains.

What first must of seemed like easy prey for a home invasion, became a living nightmare of depravity and violence. A young, innocent girl being held captive may hold the key to the twisted secrets locked in the basement and the killing machine feasting on human flesh in the forest outside.

Wow, this sounds like a day in my life! Seriously though, our tale begins with The Imaplers having raped and murdered some nuns. Rather than be concerned about having carried out the ultimate sin, the bikers are more worried about what they’re going to do next. Talk about not a care in the world! By the way, I received two DVDs of this film and I’ve opted to watch the Grindhouse Cut! Praise the Lord I did as I’ve been presented with tons of gore and some sexy dancers all in the space of 10 minutes into the film. Nice one!


Our “heroes” for want of a better word arrive at the Go-Go Bar looking for a good time. They are there to meet their boss who sits them down to tell them some home truths. Problem is, The Impalers don’t want to listen to their boss and want to carry on with things their way, which is what they will continue to do. Killing their boss and shooting most of the patrons in the bar, the Impalers manage to escape from the killer Go-Go dancers who just happen to have machine guns!!!! Talk about double trouble eh! Anyway, plot wise much of the same happens throughout the film and we’re presented with murder upon murder and semi-naked women dancing. We also have copious amounts of sex and violence. If you want to find out what happens throughout the whole film, you need to buy the DVD!!!imgres

Following reports that the BBFC had cut some of the film due to it’s gratuitous use of sex and violence, I was expecting the Grindhouse version to be somewhat milder in comparison after it’s re-edit. How wrong was I?! Dear God No! is full of what I can only describe as unnecessary nudity, filth, sexual perversion and murder. Most tasteless of the lot is a scene involving a pregnant woman, but if you’re of that persuasion then you may want to buy the DVD to see it.

Also, have a look at the amazing amount of extras you get with your double dvd edition (amazing being in context with the assumption you actually enjoy the film that you’ve bought of course!):

Exclusive extras only available on the UK special edition

Two cuts of the film, the theatrical cut and all new exclusive Grindhouse cutimgr232es Exclusive full colour booklet featuring the words of director James Bickert and graphic illustrator Tom Hodge, production stills and more
Audio Commentary with Writer/Director James Bickert and composer Richard Davis
Audio Commentary with actors Jett Bryant, Madeline Brumby and Shane Morton
Original Theatrical trailer
Redband Trailer
Behind the Scenes Gag Reel Poster and Still Slideshow
Zombie Parody Canadian Theatrical Promo
Torture Porn Parody Festival Promo
Vlog the Magnificent at The Dear God No! World Premiere

In all honesty I probably wouldn’t buy this DVD purely on the grounds that I found some of the material in the film quite tasteless and unnecessary. It is all well and good having scenes of rape, murder, drugs and nudity, but sometimes too much is TOO MUCH! Please, if there’s one thing director James Bickert should learn from making this film it is to reel it in when it becomes too much. Subtle use of the concepts in Dear God No! would have made a greater film but with a continuous onslaught of the same and then the same and then the same again and again just makes you want to gag, all for the wrong reasons.


Anyway, there is a creature in the film too and he is quite amusing to look at and I found his part in the film the most entertaining. One thing I can commend the film on is the fact that the Grindhouse Version does give you the impression that you’re watching it in the 1970s. Apart from that though I would not have bought this DVD if I had read this review first. Dear God No!

Movie Rating: ★★☆☆☆ 

(Some of the score purely for the sheer amount of content on the DVDs)



Cut and Slash

A lot of horror films involve a lot of cutting and slashing, and so when we revived the curriculum vitae of the man known only as ‘Cut and Slash’ asking if he could write us some reviews, we emailed him back straight away... More

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