With Halloween just around the corner it’s time to work out what you’re doing because let’s face it, it Christmas for horror fans.
Picking a costume, planning a party/attending a party and laying out loads of sweets for trick or treaters should all be on the list of things you’ll be doing over the next couple of weeks.
But more importantly what movies are you going to watch?
Without the horror movie Halloween would just be about kids coming to your door begging and girls trying to out slut each other covered in fake blood. You need a scary movie to get into the spirit of the thing.
You might think that at this time of year you would be spoilt for choice with movies being show on all channels covering a wide range of horror from the classic to the contemporary. But every year I find myself a little disappointed with the offering presented.
You have your stalwart movies like your Friday the 13th’s, your Nightmare on Elm Streets, the Hellraiser movies and of course that John Carpenter effort, I can’t quite remember what it’s called?
It’s on the tip of my tongue.
I’m kidding; I’m obviously talking about Prince of Darkness.
I thought ‘why not make a list of movies I’d like to watch on Halloween’. The type of movies I can stuff popcorn into my face with furious intensity, chug beer and have people over ordering a stack of pizzas to.
So here it is; a brief list of what I would consider must see movies during the festive period without a single deranged killer in a William Shatner mask in sight.
5 Amazing Halloween Horror Movies
5. Trick or Treat. (1986)
When devil worshiping rock star Sammi Curr comes back from the dead via a record being played backwards to help young Eddie Weinbauer get revenge on high school bullies, things soon get out of control.
It’s now down to Eddie and his friends to stop the head-banging, fret board wanking demon from killing everyone at the schools Halloween dance.
This is a slice of classic mid-80’s cheese that ticks so many Halloween movie boxes. It’s camp and gory but most of all fun and a great pizza and beer movie.
With cameos from Gene Simmons of Kiss, Ozzy Osbourne and a great soundtrack by Fastway this really is an overlooked Halloween gem.
4. Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama. (1988 – Aka The Imp.)
A group of collage perves get caught spying on a sorority house and are forced to steal a coverted bowling trophy at the local bowling alley. In the raid they accidentally break the trophy releasing a jive talking, wish granting imp with murderous intentions.
This little gem has everything, ridiculous story, poor acting, boobs, blood and laughs but the shed load. Another pizza and beer classic that I could watch again and again, Halloween or not.
Plus there’s Linnea Quigley playing the tough girl heroin which is always good and one of the longest sorority shower scenes in film history that doesn’t turn into a porno.
Very much the Halloween must watch.
3. Zombie Nosh. (1988. Original title – Flesh Eater.)
When a redneck farmer opens the magically sealed coffin of a man eating zombie it becomes a long night for the young folk on the Halloween hayride.
If you though that Danny Dyer’s acting on Eastenders was bad, bruv, you aint seen nothing yet. Every line, scene and special effect is that bad you’ll be rolling your eyes and cracking up with laughter.
But it is the effects that hold this Vipco classic up. There’s plenty of blood and enough zombie related deaths to make this turkey more than passable and the scene in the Halloween party is absolutely classic.
It’s not big or cleaver but it certainly is a cracker and will have you reaching for your redneck style flannel shirt and another beer.
2. Troll. (1986)
When Harry Potter (erm, wait, what?) and his family move to a new apartment building they start noticing changes in little Wendy. Wendy goes on a rampage morphing into the wicked troll king and turning the buildings inhabitants into vegetation and all manner of fairy folk.
This film is just great.
I find that it’s more of a family film, there are no real points where you would be uncomfortable letting your kids watch it and it pissed over the Nightmare Before Christmas from a distance.
It’s not just the effects that make this film great but solid performances from Michael Moriarty, Sonny Bono, Phil Fondacaro and June and Anne Lockhart really drive this film into the cult status it deserves.
A family friendly classic that delivers and really deserves to be on anyone’s Halloween viewing list.
1. The Return of the Living Dead. (1985)
Freddy and Frank are pulling the graveyard shift in a medical supply depot when they accidentally release gas from a drum containing the remains of an infected corpse. After a series of events that lead to the cremation of all the reanimated depots animals and a corpse the party goers in the adjacent cemetery is in for one hell of a night.
This is possibly the best Halloween after party movie, everything about it just screams classic.
From some of the best character zombie make-ups of the era through to the brilliant new-wave soundtrack this film oozes Halloween.
James Karen and Thom Mathews (Frank and Freddy) throw in a comical performance not seen in horror since Vincent Price and Peter Lorre. A performance so good they played pretty much the same rolls in the second instalment.
And again, Linnea Quigley blows away every scream queen that came before her with her performance as morbid punk ‘it’ girl, Trash. We all remember her strip routine in the cemetery, right?
This film was possibly the most under rated but (in my opinion) greatest zombie flicks of the time and still stands up against the majority of modern walking dead efforts.
If you don’t throw this movie on for your guests this Halloween then your party is going to suck… fact!
So that’s my little list of blood caked gems that I will be showing at my place for my guests after my locals fancy dress party.
Now it’s down to you to the beers in the fridge, order up a few supersized with stuffed crust, fire up the VCR and unplug the doorbell coz you guys have a Halloween movie party to throw!
Have yourselves a happy Halloween, have fun and let’s make this year a blast!