Robo-geisha (2009)

Exploding onto the screen like an episode of Power Rangers directed by David Cronenberg, Robo-geisha is a crazy gore-fest, written and directed by Noboru Iguchi – the man behind Machine Girl and following very much in the same vein of violence, vengeance and wild wacky weirdness.

The plot, which is as crazy as the rest of the film, follows the story of two feuding sisters Kikue (Hitomi Hasebe) and Yoshie (Aya Kiguchi), recruited by a megalomaniacal father and son, hell bent on taking over the world by creating surgically altered Geisha assassins.

Trained by the shady corporation in martial arts and outfitted with crazy hidden weapons (including machine gun breasts, killer socks and armpit blades – which release when they strike a sexy pose) the sisters become more and more powerful and less and less human as they compete to outdo each other.

When Yoshie is dispatched to murder an innocent group campaigning against the evil empire, she realises she is fighting for the wrong side and turns against her creators. With her humanity restored and her weapons armed she must take on the might of the Geisha army, the phallic and psychotic Tengu twins and her own mercenary mechanised sister. And all before Japan is destroyed by a Giant Castle Robot.

Not technically a horror film, the movie does include plenty of gore and guts, mixing it up with cyborgs, martial arts and Asian babes to create a mad world which has to be seen to be believed.
Inventive weapons abound and appear from every orifice include butt swords, wig napalm and amazingly named ‘breast milk from hell’ which melts the face of anyone unlucky enough to get in the way.

Fusing ancient traditions like Geisha and futuristic technology is a staple of Japanese culture and cinema. The mixing of humans and mechanics is reminiscent of the disturbing dystopian Tetsuo, however Robo-geisha is far from fearful but more anarchic and ridiculous resembling The Story of Ricky or the Troma movies in its style and feel.

Like a Manga come to life, the movie is pure cartoon book craziness with comedic dialogue, cheesy music and surreal moments. All thrown together with nods to Godzilla and Terminator along the way.

Perhaps the effects aren’t the best and the humor is often only slightly above the level of an American Pie movie, but the film does contain bucket-loads of fight scenes and creative inventiveness making it entertaining from start to finish.

Part horror, part action, part martial arts, part comedy, Robo-geisha is all fun.
Well worth watching if you like your movies packed full of juvenile Japanese madness that will make you laugh and wince in equal measures.

Movie Rating: ★★★☆☆ 

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Alex Humphrey

Alex studied film at the University of Kent and went on to work for Universal Pictures in their Post Room gaining an inside look at the movie industry from the very bottom. Constantly writing reviews in everything from local magazines to Hip Hop sites Alex honed his critical skills even spending a brief period as a restaurant critic. Read more

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