Not Forgotten (2009)

Not Forgotten is a film so bad, so boring and so bemusingly banal it should be forced by the trade’s description act to be retitled Easily Forgotten.

Made as a pure cash-in on the current popularity of ‘The Mentalist’ main man Simon Baker, an alumni from the wooden school of acting, it follows Jack Bishop a businessman living a seemingly perfect suburban life in Texas with his new wife and the daughter from his first marriage Toby (yes his is daughter is called Toby).

Unsurprisingly his world is turned upside down when Toby (that’s his daughter remember not his son he doesn’t have a son just a daughter who for some reason has a boys name) is kidnapped and his dark history comes flooding back to haunt him.

As the police and FBI fail to find any leads on his daughters disappearance Jack realises he must take the investigation into his own hands and reconnect with his former life.

It appears the only hope for Toby (oh god it annoys me she’s called that) may lie with the strange Mexican cult, La Santa Muerte, protectors of sinners and worshippers of death and Jack must head across the boarder to face them and his past.

This sagging unscary star vehicle quickly disintegrates into a slow, pretentious unthrilling thriller which is trying desperately to be clever, stylish and engaging and ends up being dumb, slow and unoriginal.

Director Dror Soref, whose most impressive previous directing gig was on a video for Weird Al’ Yankovic, fails to inspire any emotion other than disdain and apathy in the viewer. Script wise the movie is a mess of clichés, obvious plot twists and tiresome character development for characters you don’t care about.

The reasonably well known cast including Spanglish star Paz Vega and Claire Forlani from Mystery Men overact their way through the torturous 93 minutes with Baker attempting to be all dark and disturbed but ending up looking stupid and unconvincing.

Rising star Chloe Moretz who plays the infuriatingly named Toby does an okay job with what she has showing some potential although a better demonstration of her acting skills can be found in the far superior Kick Ass coming out this month.

As if the film wasn’t frustrating and disappointing enough although it is rated as an 18 and doesn’t even deliver on the promise of blood, sex or violence. Apart from some ritual stuff and one scene where Baker gets all shirtless and stabby the only horror to be found in this picture is if you paid to see this pile of pointless piddle.

This is a film for obsessive Mentalist fans only and even they will probably feel let down. Luckily I have already forgotten everything about this movie and you would be wise to forget you ever heard of it.

Movie Rating: ½☆☆☆☆ 

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About zombie2

Once a regular human named Alex, Zombie2 now has little recollection of his former life... More

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