I should have learned my lesson last time. Do not watch a remake of an old horror film that you love, as you will invariably be disappointed.
The problem this time was… That it was in 3D!!!
I couldn’t miss out on that! Plus, as the film began, I realised that it wasn’t intended as a remake as such.
More of a re-mix. So surely I could look past the relationships with the original and enjoy this as a stand-alone new movie…
Well, to some degree I could.
I loved the original My Bloody Valentine for the same reason that I love most old horror movies. Originality; simplicity; centimental value and the odd laugh.
In the modern day re-imaginings of these classics, those factors are replaced with big CGI special effects; beautiful, higly paid actors; and twisty stories that try to catch the ‘devoted lover of the original’ off-guard.
The movie is set in a small mining town in mid-America. After an accident in one of the shafts, miners are killed and one of the survivors (Harry Warden) is left in a coma.
When he wakes, he decides to go out and kill lots of people, trying to avenge the death of his mining mates.
He does pretty well until the police catch up with him and bury him deep underground, leaving him to die.
10 years on and Tom, the young man blamed for the mining accident returns to town. After inheriting a large share of the mine from his father, he decides that it’s best to sell it off, caring little about the lives of the townspeople who depend on it for income.
Then, guess what. Harry Warden returns to show his displeasure by chopping more people up.
The film ain’t bad. The story is reasonable (although it does differ to the original), and the effects, although silly at times, are entertaining.
I didn’t know a pick-axe could be used to kill people in so many creative ways. And that’s one thing that Harry Warden really does deserve credit for – his flair when it comes to murder.
Eyes pop out, jaws fly off, hearts are torn out and midgets are even pinned to ceilings.
No doubt, most of these outragous deaths are put in purely to make the most of the 3D.
When it comes to realism, I don’t care too much with the oldies. But with modern films, such as this – where they feel that they have to explain how things happened – I can’t help but be more crtitical of the little details.
For this reason, I can’t over-look the fact that when there have been 10+ murders in a short space of time, committed by one man, it’s still the local small-town police force that is left to deal with it. Don’t the FBI or S.W.A.T bother with things like that anymore?!
But, let’s not worry about such inaccuracies. If you haven’t watched the original, and you fancy a bit of CGI rich, gory fun, then this film ain’t half bad. I can imagine that seeing it on the big screen would have make me more enthusiastic about it.
The cast are adequate, led by Supernatural‘s Jensen Ackles, and supported in part by one of my favourites, the legendary Tom Atkins.
I’m not going to moan any more about remakes, as they are probably fine as long as you haven’t seen the original, or are very good at detaching yourself from it. My tip going forward – don’t watch any more horror films, as ultimately they will all be re-worked.
My Bloody Valentine, is the most successful 3D horror movie ever, grossing over £7 million, and you can see why. Plenty of action, plenty of gore, eye candy for both sexes.
And even a cynical traditionalist like me can’t help but enjoy it.
Additional film information: My Bloody Valentine (2009)