There’s No Such Thing As Vampires (2020) Review

After a chance encounter, strangers Joshua (Josh Plasse) and Ariel (Emma Holzer) go on a run. In pursuit of them is the vampire Maximillion (Aric Cushing), intent on capturing the pair and slaughtering anyone who gets in his way.

There’s No Such Thing As Vampires starts off strong, quickly laying out its concept and hitting the ground running. The simple idea is a great jumping-off point and strongly reminiscent of the 80’s road thriller. This seems to be deliberate as the film is thick with visual references to the sub-genre all the way down to the police station siege.

This film also boasts an impressive original score by Writer-Director Logan Thomas. The music of the film is fantastic, delivering a foreboding tone with flavours of The Terminator.

The performances of the main cast are all admirable with Plasse and Holzer clearly giving it their all while delivering some of the shakier dialogue. Cushing has fun as the vampire Maximillion and Meg Foster is fantastic in a small role as Sister Frank.

The real issues with the film come from the presentation.

The sound design is all over the place with some lines of dialogue almost unintelligible. That and the framing of the film with almost every shot featuring half a character’s head cut off. I have a suspicion this may be down to the addition of ‘widescreen bars’ that was not accounted for when shooting.

Finally, with only one death over the course of the film, if you’re here for gore you’ll be sorely disappointed.

There’s No Such Thing As Vampires is the type of film I find difficult to assess. Looking at the film objectively, it’s easy to see the shortcomings but given my admitted affinity for indie productions, I can’t help but see the film that Thomas wanted to make.

I’m sure that this was a great read on the page but in execution, it, unfortunately, leaves a lot to be desired.

Movie Rating:  

Trailer: