Sand Sharks (2011) Review

Sand Sharks

Sand SharksHave you ever seen the movie Jaws? Did you like it? If you did, then you probably won’t like Sand Sharks. How about the movie Piranha, have you seen that? I did. In fact I thought it was ace! But I didn’t like Sand Sharks.

How about we try being a bit more general, yeah? Let’s give this a little room to breath. Ok. Have you ever seen a movie? Of course you have. So what was it that you liked about it? Did it have a good story? Was the acting super-awesome?

Maybe it had eye-popping special effects, or great music, or loads of naked people, or maybe the DVD came with a free poster, something! Anything! You must have liked one gosh darned thing about it, right? Right.

Sand Sharks

Well, in case you weren’t sure, the point I’m making here is that there is pretty much nothing to like about Sand Sharks.

Whereas Jaws was a pretty awesome film, and Piranha a good natured, tongue in cheek Jaws rip-off, Sand Sharks is just a plain old waste of time. It’s like a bunch of crack-up teenagers decided it would be mega-rad to make an “ironic” reboot of Spielberg’s old-timey hit, and not even bothered to watch it in the first place.

Sand Sharks Sand Sharks

Maybe I’m being mean. Maybe Sand Sharks is meant to be poking fun at itself and other silly rip-off movies. It’s got Hulk Hogan’s daughter in it for WWF’s sake, as well as giant CGI sharks that swim through sand, so how serious can it be?!
Still, if this is meant to be some kind of big joke, then the punchline really, really, really sucks.

Not funny you guys. Not funny.

Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ 

Trailer:

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About MacReady

When you’re stuck outdoors in the frozen Antarctic, for months on end with no food or water, after surviving a horrific life and death encounter with a parasitic extraterrestrial life form that kills and assimilates other organisms (including all your friends) and then imitates them with disturbing and grotesque results, you have a lot of time to think... More

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