Almost Human (2013) Review

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Almost Human is an alien abduction film with murderous results.

Mark (Josh Ethier) is abducted when a bright Almost Human horror movie 2013light appears outside of his home. Two years later, his friend Seth (Graham Skipper) begins having dreams that Mark has returned. When a disturbing amount of bloody murders leading in the direction of Mark’s house begin to pile up, Seth has to figure out how to stop Mark before things get any worse.

The film is a strange combination of Fire in the Sky, Invasion of the Body Snatchers and The Terminator. Mark returns, naked and curled up in a ball in the woods only to have a few hunters stumble upon him. Their corpses supply him with clothing needed to keep warm and blend in with everyone else.

Mark finds his way to a gas station where he kills the attendant in a fun head explosion shot gun scene and steals a car from a man pumping gas, whom he also kills. Now he can head back home to his girlfriend, who is now engaged to a total d-bag, and start his fun alien adventure.

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Mark then goes on a killing spree, collecting bodies to impregnate with other aliens via a weird alien tube-like appendage that comes from his mouth. Soon he has collected an army of twitching alien invaded bodies in his root cellar and Seth is left to save the world.

There are two major things that bother me about this movie. One, Mark in no way looks like a killer. While he is large in stature, his face is gentle like a baby with a beard. Two, Seth is the most unlikely person to defeat anyone. He is weak physically, mentally and emotionally. On both counts I am forced to call shenanigans.

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Those two negatives aside, the movie isn’t that bad. The acting is atrocious but it’s bad in the way that the acting in The Evil Dead is bad. The budget is severely lacking but we all know that doesn’t mean a whole lot.

In the end, I was not the biggest fan of Almost Human but that is not to say it won’t be well accepted by other fans. It has just enough cult classic-like cheese to ensure a decent following.

Movie Rating: ★★½☆☆ 

Trailer:

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About Scarletjupiter

Scarletjupiter is our US correspondent. She's currently the horror editor over at Pop-Break.com, reviewing films and providing interviews. She has also contributed to DreadCentral. You may eventually know her from the upcoming indie horror film Honeyspider. She's a massive Halloween collector-the film series, not the holiday. She's a pure Michael Myers nerd since childhood. In her spare time she loves to travel to horror filming sites, haunted locations and conventions across the USA. You can find her, her collection and travels on Instagram and Twitter @scarletjupiter.

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